VT was yummy

I hope the transition back into work is going without too much hardship.
I know what it is like not liking what you are doing.

Please read this for how I intend for it to be a help for us both.

I had a good time talking with Jacob yesterday, the tour he gave us was nice, interesting how he took over driving etc. good to see he is feeling in charge of things sometimes, it will help so much as he pursues his restaurant dream.

I guess I understand how you could feel really bad about the start of the day, but so did I and I put my best effort into making it a good experience for Jacob.

I am sorry you were not able to enjoy it more I'm sure partly (mostly?) because of the discussions I precipitated and the fact they made you hurt. They were difficult and uncomfortable and they hurt me too but at least I got a little more information and a little more understanding.
Do you really want to go thru this all ignoring me and just concentrating on your friends.
I used to be your friend and I think at one time maybe your best friend, at least you were mine.
I know you say you are trying to do this in the best manner you can, but it often does not feel like it to me.
I cannot feel how you feel, I can only try to comprehend.
I do feel how I feel and I can only attempt to explain how that is and sometimes when I try to tell you it hurts a lot and I know that hurts you but I don't know how else to express what I need to say.

I very much appreciated the offer last night of the company.

I do however know it did not make you feel any better and may have made you feel worse.
I know if makes me yearn to have things like they used to be where I could roll over and hug you and get you interested in playing even in the middle of the night.
That memory hurts because I really want it back.

Like I said yesterday,
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'm begging you to beg me...

I need to find the rest of the lyrics as I don't remember how the remainder goes.

I think if I honestly believed you had rethought all this stuff that has happened and made the effort to be a loving affectionate PARTNER again I could forget all about the bad stuff.

If you can honestly say it makes you feel better for me to be there in the bedroom and you show it even in some simple manner... then I'm there! Cause I think it helps at least a little with communication even if we chose to split our life paths in the end.

Otherwise if you are deeply heartfelt convinced that you need a separate path then I think it best if I get used to being alone until we both find someone who can truly make us happy I really don't want to spend my life feeling like I make you miserable.

Please know that I wrote this trying to make you feel better too.