i'm sorry your neck has been bothering you so much, i know it's no fun. i think the weather change is affecting both of us, but it seems like you have a lot of stress at work right now.

Are there other things stressing you that you want to talk about?

about this morning...i know that making love makes you feel better, but i still need the emotional connection and it's not always there, esp. when i don't feel good. it doesn't mean that i am pushing you away, though i know that is the way you interpret it. it just means "not right now" i also know that you would like it everyday. i just can't do that. i love to snuggle and kiss and just be with you when i don't feel like making love. for me that touch is just as important and it makes a huge difference in whether i feel close or don't. sometimes i feel that when i don't want to make love you then push me away which in essence is not the best thing to do. it would actually be better if you pulled me closer and just hugged me and even touched and kissed me lovingly, but not necessarily in a sexual manner. that's why i got those cards. i was hoping that maybe it would give us some ideas on how to do that and have us both be satisfied. i know that you do do these things,but really the more you do it the closer i feel to you.

i really appreciated the back rub you gave me last night, it made me feel so much better and I think that it helped me relax and sleep better. i finally slept through the whole night. i'm sure avoiding sugar and junk food helped too, including no soda.

i hope that the neck rub i gave you this morning helped. i'm sorry that men's group didn't seem to be what you were looking for last night. sometimes that's the way it is with most things as you know. i hope that you are going to go and give it a little longer before you decide it's not for you. if you feel we need to go back to going as a couple then i can schedule that with holly after i see her next week. just let me know what you want to do.

i've really been thinking about another tattoo. i can't explain it, but it becomes this huge desire that just overwhelms me. i love the freedom i feel and the end result from the whole process. from desgining it to having it done. i promised myself no new ones until i'd been doing the personal trainor for a year. so i'm sticking to that. but i've really been thinking about a butterfly lately and wanting to have one done. i'm not sure where. i wish you would want to have one done and we could have identical ones that mean something to just us, but i know that you don't and i won't push. i respect your boundries about it.

these are just some thoughts i've been having and i wanted to let you know. i should probably get to work.